"...Oh that I could live with such a love as this

and go on through my life, and not have it for my own.

Oh then there's no beauty in the sky - 

Oh then there's no motion in the hills as they roll by

In the home where my love lives..........without me.

Oh that I could look and see another face

and walk away content to be without him in my heart.

Oh then there are no more words to rhyme.

Oh then all the music fades away with passing time.

I just can't believe it's so - if it is, I'll never know - 

I'll be four and two forever .........if it happens.

Oh that I could sleep with such a dream as this

and wake beside the heart I miss - of no one at my side.

Oh then there's no reason for my life.

Oh then there's no point in holding onto it so tight.

Tell me, what do I believe and what is it I can't leave?

For if I've received my fate, I have to know.....

Whether I can go on living with the thought.................I let it go! ..."

A warm Spring greeting to all of you fans and friends of Palma Pascale.

I really hadn't intended to write here on this breautiful day, but I have been searching for an important document I need to use in working with another of Palma's tunes, and in searching through the sea of papers I have, I ran across an email from my beautiful and talented friend dated Monday, July 31, 2006, that I wanted to share.  It was one of the more important emails I'd received up to that date, and for various reasons.  Mostly, it was because I learned on that Monday night that, because of my writing about Palm's work in such detail that I was (at least partially) responsible  for her sitting down again, composing some of her "new" work....new at that time, that is.  Some of that work, I believe, can be heard on the THIS MUST BE HEAVEN CD.  I had been sent a tune or two at that point that were new compositions, as Palm loved sending new tunes to me every bit as much as I loved getting them.  The tunes I had listened to, though, were more in her "Sinatraesque" style, not her Christian music.  In a later e-mail, Palm refers to one of the Christian pieces, however, in particular, YOU COULDN'T MEAN ME, the first track of THIS MUST BE HEAVEN.

I remember when I met Fred and Palm at Tiki in October of 07, and Palm played and sang this one for my wife and me - and told me I'd been the inspiration for her to start writing again.

Can you imagine how this made me feel?  ME?  Responsible for Palm writing new tunes?  Unheard of.....

I don't believe I'll ever get another compliment quite like that one.  It was so immensly important to me.  Many times I would question her about when she would write again - how did the process go for her, etc.  So, for her to say she'd started writing again at least in part because of my writing.....sharing my humble opinion in review of her work ; it was such an honor for me.

I've mentioned in other blogs how the "reviews" began very innocently, really, with just a letter of appreciation that I wrote to Palm after having been exposed to THE BROKEN CUP for a few days.  That CD grabbed hold of me and would NOT let go.

I also ran across Palm's response to that letter.  If I may, I'd like to share a bit of it:

 -----Original Message-----

  From: Palma Pascale [mailto:palmacarponline@yahoo.com]

  Sent: Tuesday, February 21, 2006 6:13 PM

  To: Timothy San Paolo

  Subject: The Best Review, EVER!

  Dearest Tim,

  I am stunned by your exquisite review and commentary...you are like my very own ROGER EBERT, and I relished every word of your song reviews. Wow! I am forwarding it to my friend, Fred, at the studio, and he suggested we quote from your letter, with your permission, when it seems appropriate to give people a "sense" of the album. I am one smiling songwriter/singer tonight, that's for sure!!!

  Thank you for taking so much time and for being so very specific...I feel every word and am so uplifted once again by you. I will SO MUCH enjoy hearing how your versions go over in church, and please feel free to play the CD if you wish. If I am lucky, I may hear from a few more folks in your state who want the album. Think of how responsible YOU would be for helping me get known in your beautiful neck of the woods!!

  Love,  Palma

We wrote about many things to each other - I was forever asking questions, and Palm loved it.  Within the WHAT THE HELL NELL! songs came a real upbeat favorite for me called "Big Mike's Genteel Joint" - a lively, ragtime story about a little saloon in New York City.  Palm had done some counter lines along with the melody in a certain place and I wanted to know what both lines were.   I had guessed, but knew she'd fill me in.   Within her answer, however,  she said some other very important things to me:


Hi Tim,
   Great letter, as always. Your words make me feel very inspired to write more and more. I can't tell you how  you help me revisit my own stuff. You know, the writing is VERY EASY, and the only process is to think logically, in my own way, about what might be said next. There always seem to be alot of "choices'" and the only conflict is sometimes picking a line. I usually go with what I mumbled first. By the way, I try to maintain a very light and "sketchy" feeling as I start, and then I have to keep up quickly with random thoughts, because that's all they seem to be. I try to take them seriously, because otherwise, I would constantly dismiss them. They don't hang around long. Does that mean anything to you?

The counter lines that bump up against each other at the end of BIG MIKES are :
BOWERY BEAUTIES: Children play here, night and day here
                                   Milk and cookies served
                                   There's no fightin' just delightin' squeals are ever heard

while the BOWERY BRUISERS sing: They keep a comin'
                                                        The place is hummin'
                                                         Uptown swells are due
                                                          They'll be arriving soon at 33 Montague

So you were close! I remember dashing off those 4 counter lines while we were making the recording. I felt like boosting the excitement level of the company number at that point, and I grabbed a pen on Fred's console and just wrote them. You see what I mean about grabbing it all quickly...otherwise it completely disappears. I very rarely remember anything a few moments afterward. I am always puzzled by people who say "Oh, I won't write it down, because if it's that good, I'll remember it tomorrow." If that were true, you and I wouldn't even know each other because the Carpenter song would never have been written, and you know the rest.

So I think I am nailing down WHY your words are extra important to me. Every time you marvel at something it reminds me that THAT is something that I almost didn't write down, or pay attention to. It makes me notice my own thoughts alot more. Mostly, I avoid getting started. I should start more often, especially when it could mean so much to so many people. I have to thank you again for that. 


So, there are a couple of examples of how interesting I find it that both of us were so inspired by the other.  I mean....I was completely inspired by Palma's music - so much so that I didn't give up playing and singing as had been my plan.... rather, I took up a whole new path with my music as hearing THE BROKEN CUP, and meeting Palm changed all those prior plans.  Her music and those stories were helping me, while my words about that awesome music was really touching her, too.  That was what it was all about - for both of us - the entire 4 years.  I worked from my heart and wrote to you, my readers, about this woman and her phenomenal talent, and Palm composed from HER heart - and she'd be so enthused to send me the new songs - it was a grand friendship and  mutual admiration, for certain.


I miss her every single day.  I do find solace, at least, a bit, in the extraordinary catalogue of songs she left behind.  Her creativity - her energy - her amazing genius will never, ever be forgotten.


That's all for today - since I ran across these pieces of correspondence, I wanted to share at least a piece or two of them with you.


I have so much more to write about.  I am composing a Wikipedia page for Palm, too, and I hope to, at some point, learn enough to update and enhance her current website.  Oofah!


BTW, I've had lots of orders for and I have been sending out lots of Palma's CD's both Christian and Pop.  Yesterday, I got the nicest comment -  Palma would want me to share it with you here:

"I am SO looking forward to getting this new CD. I have no doubt whatsoever I'll be as enamored with it as I currently am Palma's "This Must Be Heaven" CD. I loaded the TMBH songs onto my iPod and I take them with me and listen to (and sing to) them every single day in my drive to work. It never fails to put a big smile on my face. I just love her songs - what brilliance!"

That was from another musician on the West Coast, Heather Glynn.

I'm with you, Heather - I listen to Palm every single day as well.  Her work never fails to put a smile on my face, and perhaps a tear in my eye.  Unbelievable!

I have no idea where my next inspiration to write will come from, so I'll just close saying thank you to all my readers for the love and respect you've always shown to our Palma.  She SO loved knowing that her friends and fans alike were getting better acquainted with the gift she owned.  She was about the music!

"... Tell me what do I believe, and what is it I can't leave?

For if I've received my fate, I have to know

whether I can go on living with the thought, I LET IT GO! ..."

Until Next Time Then,

Martini~

Photo Credits:  In & Out Of Love Cover- Dominick Avento III, and photo of Palma is from the collection of Frank Rendo.